Monday, April 3, 2017


Hello Guys!

Well this is a very personal post about faith....
I am a many year Christian and I honestly Love God and Jesus with all of my heart, I'd say (hopefully) with an unconditional love. Which is wonderful...
However, once I did a serious fundamental mistake. I honestly with all of my heart have told to myself that there is no God, in any case I work super hard, I go through all difficulties by my self and I have decided that God is only a lovely imagination and in any case there was no particular help that I had ever receive. Well... I guess being a believer you can imagine that backwash... Hahahaha. Total quick smash down, as if I have lost everything that was under my feets. Everything has got changed. I mean EVERYTHING. Even me myself. I have became completely different person. No longer bright and creative, no longer healthy and happy, neither strong and powerful... None of the positivity list...
Long story short, I am back with God, and I am back to His Love and into His hands. But you know what't stayed? Fear... And a lack of FAITH. I mean after I have commen back to Jesus I am not really believing that things can come back good again. I mean I believe mentally, sort of... But I trully know that it is not in my spirit. I am easier with an I idea that better to obey God and just be where I am, silenti dreaming for a better times, in stead of really acting, walking step by step towards my dreams...
Being so brave in my youth, I can not believe that in reality I am so paralised with a lot of fears.
Of course you can say "why so negative", "oh another looser". Nop I know that I am not, of course! But here is the important stage where in stead of pretanding that everything is Okey, I should really be true to myself and say the facts just as they are... I mean you can not cope with a problem pretending that there are no problem at all...
And my problem is, and I want to make it public:
"I can not belive that Jesus really can arrange everything for me".
These are words that I have recieved in my prayer. And I absolutely agree with that. I know but do I really belive in it? Do I act accordingly? Like lets say that I know that sigarets are distroying my life... (Hypothetically, I never tryed a single cigarette!) And what? Does a person stops smoking? No, not really... Therefore here is the logical conclusion that believe is an act, and just like a person gave up sigarettes, we believers have to gave up our unbelieve, lack of faith and fears... Isn't it?
What do you think, guys?
It is a meaning that fear and a lack of faith is actually a bad habit just like a smoking or any other tipical bad habit. Do you see the point?
I guess here it is a fact that we have to make a first step and a first move to stop. And every time we are attampted to fear and worry it is just like a will to take a new sigarette.
Lets use me as an example:
I run my own fashion store and things to be honest are going BAD. I always dreamed about my own business. But I obviously never dreamed about that kind of situation. I mean it's been 3 years I earn nothing and getting more na dimore in a debt. And all I know is that I have to work and work and work and work. Work more. This is logical, isn't it?! But I do overwork, always, constantly. No matter where I work. Due to that I have no energy to enjoy my life and do other things, apart from reading the Bible in the night and maybe worry? Now I have started to have a very serious pain in my whole digestion system. What's next? My point is I have to learn to trust God and not only trusting but also REALLY believing that there can be miracles. I mean real changes. And it needs to be a real acting step by step process. It needs to be a day by day activity of trusting to people and to Jesus that he will provide the solution to the problem.
Now I do even hesitate, am I in the right place? Am I doing what I meant to do?
If I am where I am right now, it is exactly the place where I should be. BUT I have to exersise in trusting God that he can help me out, and I do not have to work myself so horribly much.
Why do I write this all to you?
First of all I want you to be a witness of my confession and promise! To exersice in my faith and really belive that God CAN solve all my problems.
Secondly to let you know that maybe you are actually doing alright comparing to me, or perhaps you are not alone with this problem.
Thirdly if you are just not sure either God does exist and you hesitate about Him. I have to say! HE is with you, even if you are not with him! And the worst day with God is much better than the best day without God.
And just to underline. Constant worry and fear is an additino which needs to be inspected and notified and cured accordingly.

As it is a personal blog and not a psychology Christian website, please note that I simply trying to share what's in the corner of my eye! ;)

Saturday, October 17, 2015

Fluffy top.

The volume over the top is not as quirky as it may seam. Fits best for ladies with a small shoulders and waist girths.
Emin and Paul top in my store in Moscow.
We do post worldwide by the way.

For more pictures you can always find us on instagram @rebus_me

Wednesday, July 8, 2015

Negativity is good or bad?

Guys today just a quick post about something interesting which came across me today.

Just want to know your opinion...

Negativity and aggressive behaviour is a good thing or bad?
Well of course it is a bad and all this "how could she/he do that?" "how could she/he say that?".

But hey, being nice always isn't very good either. By being aggressive we can actually stimulate people to wake up and make things better.

I am a very kind and sensitive person who would definitely prefer the loving kind relationship with others, but a negative comment can easily take my feet of the ground.

So what is your opinion and how would you prefer people stimulating you?
Please comment bellow! And yes darling reader, I know you are reading me!


Thursday, June 25, 2015

Ups and Downs / What is Happiness?

"Happiness is a state of joy for everything what brings you life… there are ups and downs, but the important part is to be grateful for this day and the experience it brings."

- A phrase I said to my friend today, confirming my happiness.

I was unhappy, I am happy now. I still have the same problems and difficulties in my life. Well I actually don't have any. But I am trying to find myself, or understand what next step should I be doing. Is it travel some more or settle down in my mother country. Yet I have responsibilities and duties, what should I do about this all? Well, I am not one egoistic little girl dreaming about life (I am a bit). But in order to produce a good quality work I have to find my happiness and find my way out. I am ready to work as much as I have to, but the only thing crave for is happiness and knowledge that I walk my destiny and utilise every day of my life with use.

Luckily enough I have got 4 days all by myself, sharing it with my lovely silent Dog, Nicky. I was way down there with a depression and almost suicidal though (which I would never proceed to an action, but there were so much pain inside that it was way too hard to live through).

Such a hard depression was cured within a day or two and was confirmed within another two days. How?

My recipe of happiness or depression cure:

1. Locked inside all by myself and my dog. Obviously having all food I needed and silence I needed. Plus internet, for which I am extremely thankful! I did not use it for communication and facebook, though.

2. Locked and switched off all technology especially iPhone applications such as Instagram, Facebook, Gmail, Twitter and other communication sources. NO CALLS and NO MESSAGES. (Luxury of 21-century)

3. Fresh air 3 times a day / silent walks, listening to favourite music or sounds of our beautiful nature. 

4. Sportive activities. I did running at the gym and some lovely group classes with weights and aqua aerobics. Well anything you love to do, where your nose breaths and mind's too busy to think of problems.

5. The last but least!
Spiritual and mental food and great sources of inspiration!
I have started with iTunes U, where I typed "happiness" in the search bar and bingo...!

- "Understanding Happiness" - List of TED conferences. Just on overall Talks about researches, where some were amazing, some I did not even understood. Good source to start with, especially if you are a TED fun.
- "Happiness: Exploring Its Spiritual and Rational Foundations" - Beautiful and inspiring lectures  from Chapman University about happiness, confirming that religion and meditation can bring you back to the happiness path.
- "Applied Ethics" by Larry Poller - 10 min basic knowledge about our community by a Community College. Frankly we all know this, but I enjoyed listen it just to understand that I am not really mistaken on anything. Was lovely to take a step backwards and look at out social rules from an academic point of view.

BOOKS of an inspiration:
- "Happy for no reason" Marci Shimoff, Carol Kline - Beautiful book, which I felt to be quite feminine, yet might be quite useful for some man too. Simple step by step guidelines of our happiness.

Thanks to this book for the first time in a long time I have started to listen to myself, take care of myself and treat and heal myself. In the middle of this book I could not resist to smile! I have cried and laugh. For the first time I have relaxed, simple as that.

*** For those who are experiencing problems in their love life, head to "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" by John Gray. You will be amused, how much we don't know about each other!

I still feel pain and fell sadness, I have my bad bays and crashes, sometimes desperate with tears on my face... yet I am happy and grateful for feeling what I feel. I really hope that one day I will be an even happier person with a sparkling eyes, in the world on which I look through heart and never through mind.

BTW. I am not an expert or a doctor. I have found a great information, which helped me a lot. I hope this can help you too!
If you have some other tips on how boost your happiness, please share them with me!
Big Hug!

Sunday, June 14, 2015

#FARШ / My food in Moscow.

Big need to share with you one of the new places in Moscow, because today surprisingly happened to eat one of the best burgers in my life.
#Farш is a gastronomic "fast food" in the heart of Moscow a 7 min walk from Red Square and a minute walk from Lubyanka tube station. (1st/red line).
Here you have to stand a line of 20 people in order to order. For some reason it somehow reminded me of McDonalds or Burger King but it is incomparable. Those burgers are with delicious beef, meat out of the most precious parts of the animal, the key component of burger, heavenly light bread, in-house made where potato is a secret component, fresh veggies of this burger are also raised in house. They say that the key to the best burger is a harmony and balanced amount of meat, bread, souse and vegetables.
The owner of this great place is Arkady Novikov. Yes, the one who owns the "Novikov" restaurant and bar in London. Surprisingly when today we were seating and eating our burgers we noted Novikov himself walking in and, well, of course, we have thanked him for such a delicious lunch!