Faith

Hello Guys!

Well this is a very personal post about faith....
I am a many year Christian and I honestly Love God and Jesus with all of my heart, I'd say (hopefully) with an unconditional love. Which is wonderful...
However, once I did a serious fundamental mistake. I honestly with all of my heart have told to myself that there is no God, in any case I work super hard, I go through all difficulties by my self and I have decided that God is only a lovely imagination and in any case there was no particular help that I had ever receive. Well... I guess being a believer you can imagine that backwash... Hahahaha. Total quick smash down, as if I have lost everything that was under my feets. Everything has got changed. I mean EVERYTHING. Even me myself. I have became completely different person. No longer bright and creative, no longer healthy and happy, neither strong and powerful... None of the positivity list...
Long story short, I am back with God, and I am back to His Love and into His hands. But you know what't stayed? Fear... And a lack of FAITH. I mean after I have commen back to Jesus I am not really believing that things can come back good again. I mean I believe mentally, sort of... But I trully know that it is not in my spirit. I am easier with an I idea that better to obey God and just be where I am, silenti dreaming for a better times, in stead of really acting, walking step by step towards my dreams...
Being so brave in my youth, I can not believe that in reality I am so paralised with a lot of fears.
Of course you can say "why so negative", "oh another looser". Nop I know that I am not, of course! But here is the important stage where in stead of pretanding that everything is Okey, I should really be true to myself and say the facts just as they are... I mean you can not cope with a problem pretending that there are no problem at all...
And my problem is, and I want to make it public:
"I can not belive that Jesus really can arrange everything for me".
These are words that I have recieved in my prayer. And I absolutely agree with that. I know but do I really belive in it? Do I act accordingly? Like lets say that I know that sigarets are distroying my life... (Hypothetically, I never tryed a single cigarette!) And what? Does a person stops smoking? No, not really... Therefore here is the logical conclusion that believe is an act, and just like a person gave up sigarettes, we believers have to gave up our unbelieve, lack of faith and fears... Isn't it?
What do you think, guys?
It is a meaning that fear and a lack of faith is actually a bad habit just like a smoking or any other tipical bad habit. Do you see the point?
I guess here it is a fact that we have to make a first step and a first move to stop. And every time we are attampted to fear and worry it is just like a will to take a new sigarette.
Lets use me as an example:
I run my own fashion store and things to be honest are going BAD. I always dreamed about my own business. But I obviously never dreamed about that kind of situation. I mean it's been 3 years I earn nothing and getting more na dimore in a debt. And all I know is that I have to work and work and work and work. Work more. This is logical, isn't it?! But I do overwork, always, constantly. No matter where I work. Due to that I have no energy to enjoy my life and do other things, apart from reading the Bible in the night and maybe worry? Now I have started to have a very serious pain in my whole digestion system. What's next? My point is I have to learn to trust God and not only trusting but also REALLY believing that there can be miracles. I mean real changes. And it needs to be a real acting step by step process. It needs to be a day by day activity of trusting to people and to Jesus that he will provide the solution to the problem.
Now I do even hesitate, am I in the right place? Am I doing what I meant to do?
If I am where I am right now, it is exactly the place where I should be. BUT I have to exersise in trusting God that he can help me out, and I do not have to work myself so horribly much.
Why do I write this all to you?
First of all I want you to be a witness of my confession and promise! To exersice in my faith and really belive that God CAN solve all my problems.
Secondly to let you know that maybe you are actually doing alright comparing to me, or perhaps you are not alone with this problem.
Thirdly if you are just not sure either God does exist and you hesitate about Him. I have to say! HE is with you, even if you are not with him! And the worst day with God is much better than the best day without God.
And just to underline. Constant worry and fear is an additino which needs to be inspected and notified and cured accordingly.

As it is a personal blog and not a psychology Christian website, please note that I simply trying to share what's in the corner of my eye! ;)
xxx
Liza

Ups and Downs / What is Happiness?

"Happiness is a state of joy for everything what brings you life… there are ups and downs, but the important part is to be grateful for this day and the experience it brings."

- A phrase I said to my friend today, confirming my happiness.

I was unhappy, I am happy now. I still have the same problems and difficulties in my life. Well I actually don't have any. But I am trying to find myself, or understand what next step should I be doing. Is it travel some more or settle down in my mother country. Yet I have responsibilities and duties, what should I do about this all? Well, I am not one egoistic little girl dreaming about life (I am a bit). But in order to produce a good quality work I have to find my happiness and find my way out. I am ready to work as much as I have to, but the only thing crave for is happiness and knowledge that I walk my destiny and utilise every day of my life with use.

Luckily enough I have got 4 days all by myself, sharing it with my lovely silent Dog, Nicky. I was way down there with a depression and almost suicidal though (which I would never proceed to an action, but there were so much pain inside that it was way too hard to live through).

Such a hard depression was cured within a day or two and was confirmed within another two days. How?

My recipe of happiness or depression cure:

1. Locked inside all by myself and my dog. Obviously having all food I needed and silence I needed. Plus internet, for which I am extremely thankful! I did not use it for communication and facebook, though.

2. Locked and switched off all technology especially iPhone applications such as Instagram, Facebook, Gmail, Twitter and other communication sources. NO CALLS and NO MESSAGES. (Luxury of 21-century)

3. Fresh air 3 times a day / silent walks, listening to favourite music or sounds of our beautiful nature. 

4. Sportive activities. I did running at the gym and some lovely group classes with weights and aqua aerobics. Well anything you love to do, where your nose breaths and mind's too busy to think of problems.

5. The last but least!

Spiritual and mental food and great sources of inspiration!

I have started with iTunes U, where I typed "happiness" in the search bar and bingo...!

VIDEO LECTIRES:

- "Understanding Happiness" - List of TED conferences. Just on overall Talks about researches, where some were amazing, some I did not even understood. Good source to start with, especially if you are a TED fun.

- "Happiness: Exploring Its Spiritual and Rational Foundations" - Beautiful and inspiring lectures  from Chapman University about happiness, confirming that religion and meditation can bring you back to the happiness path.

- "Applied Ethics" by Larry Poller - 10 min basic knowledge about our community by a Community College. Frankly we all know this, but I enjoyed listen it just to understand that I am not really mistaken on anything. Was lovely to take a step backwards and look at out social rules from an academic point of view.

BOOKS of an inspiration:

- "Happy for no reason" Marci Shimoff, Carol Kline - Beautiful book, which I felt to be quite feminine, yet might be quite useful for some man too. Simple step by step guidelines of our happiness.

Thanks to this book for the first time in a long time I have started to listen to myself, take care of myself and treat and heal myself. In the middle of this book I could not resist to smile! I have cried and laugh. For the first time I have relaxed, simple as that.

*** For those who are experiencing problems in their love life, head to "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" by John Gray. You will be amused, how much we don't know about each other!

I still feel pain and fell sadness, I have my bad bays and crashes, sometimes desperate with tears on my face... yet I am happy and grateful for feeling what I feel. I really hope that one day I will be an even happier person with a sparkling eyes, in the world on which I look through heart and never through mind.

BTW. I am not an expert or a doctor. I have found a great information, which helped me a lot. I hope this can help you too!

If you have some other tips on how boost your happiness, please share them with me!

Big Hug!

Confession, or the way we communicate and receive love.

(Banksy)

This is so funny, because I have no idea who am I talking to. I am not that active over here, so even if I earn some reader I loose him/her immediately, as there are no constant posts. It's like once every year… But every time I post something here, is the greatest pleasure! It is sharing and grabbing and sorting out thoughts and feelings. I love writing, even though I am not the best at grammar. But this is communication and a lovely experience of sharing….

Communication to people is important, but what is more important to you? Communication or acceptance?
"Thanks" to Instagram "likes" became a way of communication, as well as receiving love and attention, and if your picture doesn't have enough "likes" you are no longer loved. Well you may lough but there are really people who truly getting upset about it. And they put thousand of hashtags to get followers or likes from other unknown people. Isn't it funny? or sad…. Even me getting a bit effected by this disease, I must admit! Obviously not extreme, but I am addicted.

-"Hello Everyone! My name is Liza and I am addicted to Instagram and receiving likes..."
-"Hi Liza!"

The issue of acceptance is so so important for me right now. As I have started the business that doesn't work that well. And this fiasco I take so personally… Every little negative comment makes me aggressive and irritated. In reality people talk bullshit and make subjective assumptions and think they do a big difference… In one of my posts I was talking about silence. Sometimes it is the best! Even my greatest friends try to sort out my troubles by giving me irrelevant solutions which way they show that they don't believe in me and what I do. (This is advice, cheer people up and inspire, and don't give any advises unless you have been asked to do so, they find the way how to solve the problem themselves.)

-"Hello Everyone! My name is Liza and I have failed my first business, and don't really like when people give me advices and irrelevant assumptions..."
-"Hi Liza!"

And the last bit of communication that I have though about for some period of time… Does everything what people say, express (and post on social media, picture, write, videotape, email, whats app, sing….) is true?
Quite a few times I knew a person who I though is truly hating me, later for some reason he or she was telling me that I was almost their inspiration. And visa versa, people who gave me promises of love and respect were actually just disturbing the silence.
Even now, I don't really know if somebody reads this post and love it or they think that I am one of those crazy bloggers rubbishing the Web. And if the negativity is there, maybe it is not because my blog is bad, but because they have a bad bad day at work….

-"Hello Everyone! My name is Liza and I don't believe to everything people say to me. Sadly I think they lie and misinform…."
-"Hi Liza!"

I am leading to the conclusion that our main part of life - communication, is so complicated. But in stead of spreading love and opening heart, we suppress those feelings and pretend to be cool and indifferent.
Here where I have started the business, people are not communicative. They are judgmental (as all customers) and very distant. They pretend even to themselves. But the reason behind is most probably not being open for new things, not being able to express emotions and positive feelings.

Therefore….

-"Hello Everyone! My name is Liza and I suggest everyone to spread love (especially in comments bellow) and open your heart to receive love… Be communicative and let people know that their affords are actually appreciated. However appreciate the good will you receive back from others"
-"Hi Liza!"

Dear reader, if you read this, please find the time to let me know about it which ever way you want.
If not, it was a please to open my heart in a labyrinth of internet communication.

With love!
Liza!